Thursday, August 13, 2009

Abbi is 1 month old today. I honestly can't believe that she is already 1 month old, but she is. This morning she was laying on Jenn's chest in the bed and I took a minute to talk to her at her. While doing so she did her best to lift her head up and work that little neck of hers, something she's been working at her entire life!

I wanted to take a moment and reflect on the first month of Abbi's life, something I plan to do each month during her first year of life.

It was pretty amazing to watch a baby being born, and even more amazing for to have been my own baby. After all the labor and time in the hospital, it was truly amazing to see Abbi being born. It was incredibly late and Jenn and I were both exhausted, but it was just amazing. The hanging out in the hospital, not so much. That pretty much sucked.

Once we got her home, the reality of being parents settled in on us as we got up at night to change her diapers and ensure that she was fed. On top of the exhaustion, we were dealing with the presence of the the birthmarks on Abbi's face. I know in the first weeks of Abbi's life Jenn and I both spent a considerable amount of time thinking/worrying/obsessing over it. But I realized this morning while driving in and reflecting, that I don't really think about it to much anymore. We know the situation, and we know what we can do for her, so I would say there is peace in knowing your options.

Being a dad of a newborn isn't really what I thought it was going to be. During Abbi's first week of birth I changed as many diapers as I could, and did my best to get time holding her. But since Jenn is taking care of all the feeding, there is a large portion of her life I just can't participate in yet. As such there have been times where I haven't really felt all that involved or even connected. Yet I've made sure to find a away to get my own daddy-daughter time in.

Speaking of which, I find it very enjoyable to get my own time with Abbi. Since she can't really do to much, I usually just talk to her about worldly issues (for example, last night I explained to her that the pig the greatest animal of all time and all the delicious foods that come from pigs). We spend time sitting on the floor, sleeping on the couch, sleeping on the bed, and just generally lounging around. Last night we played roller coaster. I was the coaster.

In addition to all this, I can't help but feel older now. I'm sure my looming birthday (no. 28) has me feeling it a bit to, but with a new baby in the house I just feel older. I look at her, and I can't believe she's real. I can't believe she is the product of Jenn and I. I can't believe that Jenn and I will shape the life of someone else completely. That's a pretty big responsibility.

Finally, I love taking pictures of her. I've probably taken 300-400 pictures or so of her in her first month of life and I can only imagine how many more pictures I'll be taking as she gets older. She's an absolutely adorable little child and a thrill to photograph!

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